I was still active, but slowly started eating whatever the heck I wanted. If I was still overweight and nothing was paying off, it didn't matter what the scale said right? I continued to stay between 140-155 throughout high school, but once the sports stopped the weight fell back on, obviously.
Fast-forward to three babies later, even when I started to lose weight and get active again, I never felt great about my body image. Why? My image was so distorted in my mind regardless of what any person, mirror, or scale provided. So I had to go through a forgiving process. I had to forgive that person, (who, by the way still made those comments or recommendations). That was fairly and surprisingly easy. Secondly, I had to forgive myself for constantly feeling bad about all of my GOOD qualities. Last, I had to ask God to forgive me for denying that what He had in mind when he created me was beautiful and amazing.
So here's what happened in that process: I now have numerous days when I feel great, even weighing in at the same (some days more) weight as the day I delivered my beautiful Bella. I don't see myself as overweight. I loved on myself and accepted how God created me, so much that I took it to the extreme and have a hard time seeing that I am as big as I actually am.
I feel beautiful, I feel loved, and wanted. I feel blessed and refreshed with most new mornings, and I feel content. On these days I don't see the need for exercise or diligent thoughtful eating.
I feel sluggish, tired, and allergic. I feel irritable, lazy, and blah. I eat to nourish but crave salt and sweets. Fortunately there isn't a whole lot of that around our house, but a good sweet creamy cup of coffee and buttered toast usually does the trick. An hour later I feel guilty for having the bread (my mouth and head love bread but my body does not like most gluten) and kinda nasty for having the dream, (Ahem I mean cream and sugar). I have no motivation to work out, because I am a horribly inconsistent person.
Do you see where I'm going with this? OBVIOUSLY I need to exercise EVERY day and skip the gluten and milk. haha. I need to nourish my body and mind and love myself everyday, and give the glory to GOD and show him that I am treating my body right according to how he created me. That's my motivation. I can keep up with my kids, run around (albeit out of breath but I can do it), my clothing still pretty much fits, and my husband loves on me more every single day. SO you can see where it is REALLY hard to find motivation. I'm not completely unhappy in this body here.
My motivation will be God.
Treating my body with love and care as He intended.