...totally and cluelessly navigating feelings that don't feel like feelings.
In my experience there is this awful stigma that comes with the idea of seeing a therapist. I'm sure you have felt it, seen it, heard it; made your own conclusions even. And as much as I pride myself on being pretty damn nonjudgmental, even I have had a this "just effing suck it up, buttercup" mentality.
So, I see the therapist next week.
And I had to fill out the pre-screen information.
It asks questions like, "Have you had any major life changes recently?"
At first, I started typing in "no, no major life changes."
And then I was like, "shhhhhh yeah. I'm lying to myself here if I think I haven't had any inward and outward changes."
I hope you'll understand that I can't share everything here, because I can't even figure it all out. I also have this fear that if I actually share everything - every vulnerable morsel, it will get put in the wrong hands. But I'll share what I can, in hopes that in being real with you, you'll get something out of it. We're all in this together, right?
I know for darn sure I'm not the only one over here needing space but also wanting to hear that someone else is as totally and cluelessly navigating feelings that don't feel like feelings, and building up and breaking down walls that only figuratively exist, and striving to be vulnerable and closed off at the same time, and accidentally stumbling over every. little. thing (literally and figuratively).
Until next time friends,