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Anxiously Waiting

6/26/2016

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...totally and cluelessly navigating feelings that don't feel like feelings. 
So I've been dealing with some pretty heavy stuff the last few months.  I've been on this road to being more physically and mentally healthy, and when you do that it tends to open up a whole can of worms.  Not exactly what I was expecting but oh well.  

In my experience there is this awful stigma that comes with the idea of seeing a therapist.  I'm sure you have felt it, seen it, heard it; made your own conclusions even.  And as much as I pride myself on being pretty damn nonjudgmental, even I have had a this "just effing suck it up, buttercup" mentality.  

So, I see the therapist next week. 
And I had to fill out the pre-screen information.
It asks questions like, "Have you had any major life changes recently?" 
At first, I started typing in "no, no major life changes." 
And then I was like, "shhhhhh yeah. I'm lying to myself here if I think I haven't had any inward and outward changes." 

I hope you'll understand that I can't share everything here, because I can't even figure it all out.  I also have this fear that if I actually share everything - every vulnerable morsel, it will get put in the wrong hands.  But I'll share what I can, in hopes that in being real with you, you'll get something out of it.  We're all in this together, right?  

I know for darn sure I'm not the only one over here needing space but also wanting to hear that someone else is as totally and cluelessly navigating feelings that don't feel like feelings, and building up and breaking down walls that only figuratively exist, and striving to be vulnerable and closed off at the same time, and accidentally stumbling over every. little. thing (literally and figuratively).

Until next time friends, 

-Rae


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June

6/25/2016

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Hey, June.  The month is almost over; and it sure has been a doozie.  I don't know if i can necessarily chalk it up to "June Gloom," though.  Life is hard. Marriage is hard. Mommying is hard.  I always say, "but God..."  And it's true, it really is; God is bigger, God is easier, God is so much more than what I can count a burden.  But, God also gives us trials to build us up - and that can be a really hard season. 

Let me be real, real with you here.  Let me also preface this by saying that every once in a while I will still post craft stuff and music stuff, and fangirl stuff, and fun stuff, but I also need this place to be raw and honest.  That's what the whole point of Downtown and Jaded was supposed to be, raw and honest every day life.  But I got a little "grin and bear it" for the sake of being in the safety of having a fun place.  But when I do that, I end up not posting, because I can't always keep up with the fun stuff, you know?  

-Rae


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Sugar Sugar...

12/1/2015

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I hate sugar.  Just kidding, no I don't.  I just hate that sugar is not good for you.  I hate that sugar makes you break out (sometimes in song, or dance, but mostly with pimples).  I also hate that sugar can give you so much energy so quickly, and then make you take a nap just as fast.  
So, I have been breaking out all over my chest and my neck.  I know that is not the most horrible thing that can happen to a person, but I have generally good skin, and it's actually pissing me off. 
So, I decided over the weekend to seriously start taking control of my sugar intake.  I wanted to sleep all day yesterday, and that was when I fully realized what I was allowing into my body, and how it affected my energy so much. 
By the end of the day I was badly craving sugar, so to curb that need I made some energy bites.  They did have a little bit of sugar (because of the PB2 and other natural sources).
Here is the recipe:
In a bowl, mix the following until you reach a dough-like consistency. Recipe makes about 10 1.5 inch balls.
2 TBS PB2
4 TBS Gluten Free Oats (I grind mine up a little bit in my magic bullet to make more of a flour, I know it is weird, and you do not have to do this, I just like it this way).
1 TBSP Chia Seeds
1 TBSP Hemp Hearts
1 TBSP Raw Honey
1.5 TBSP Cashew Butter (you can use any nut butter)
2 Heaping TBS Unrefined, Organic Coconut Oil 
1 TSP Unsweetened Cocoa Powder
1 Shake of Cinnamon 

Mix it all, roll into bit sized balls, and then (optional) roll in a little PB2 and Cocoa powder mixture to coat. 
You can eat them now, or refrigerate and save for later.

After just one of these babies, I already felt my desire for sugar leave. 
Hope you enjoy this recipe as much as I did, if you're missing some of the ingredients or want to sub PB2 for more nut butter, obviously just add more oats or something else to keep it all together.  
Also you're welcome for the fantastic photo.  It screams texture and depth.  -crying laugh emoji- It was taken on my iPhone and edited with the snapseed app. - which by the way is my favorite app.   Catch you later! 

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I need TheeĀ 

11/9/2015

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I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain
I need Thee, O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now, my Savior
I come to Thee



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Why It's Important To Stay Organized (+ some tips on how to do it)

8/13/2015

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Getting organized can make you feel better. No, really, clutter can make you feel like you're choking and it creeps up on you so fast you only realize it once you're literally drowning in junk. Can you tell I've been there? My room tends to be the "throw all" for every single member of my family.  I've got kids shoes, husbands boots, and nerf guns stubbing my toes under my side of the bed. My little girl has decided that my room is the dirty laundry basket. No joke. My husband has taken over jars and hats as his "catch all" for miscellaneous tools, screws, change, and chords etc.  My boys leave their shoes, stinky socks and Legos all over my bedroom floor. This is a daily occurrence. This is no exaggeration folks! My desk now holds the kindles, loom band bracelets, mail, drawings, school work, and crayons. I don't know how it happens. Well, yes I do. It builds up over time. I don't just turn around and say "oh my gosh! Where did this all come from?!" (Except that I actually do that, and get super frustrated and want to cry because I know it will take numerous hours and trash bags to collect and separate toy from junk and keepsake from trash and useful screw from used nail. It's an ugly cycle that seems to never end.

It is so important to live a clutter free life, living in a mess can make you FEEL like a mess, and unfortunately you will feel inadequate and void of something (a clean house, but it will feel like something much bigger than that).  Trust me. It will happen and when it does you'll hate it.  It is a fact that having a messy house can lead to overwhelming frustration, regret, sadness, and even anger.  Happy home, happy life. 


So, how do you get, and stay organized?  Here are some simple tips to follow, and reach the goal towards a clutter free life. 


1. Junk Mail has to go.
Junk mail seems to be the culprit of a lot of my mess.  Often times we get so many credit offers, finger hut mags, and other stuff with our names on it that needs to be shredded, so it goes into an ever-growing pile.  
There are two places you can opt-out of junk mail.  (Go ahead, give me a virtual high five). Over at the Direct Marketing Association, you can opt out of junk mail.  Entering your information there will put you on a "Do Not Mail" database. 

Then there are all of those pesky insurance, credit, and even home loan offers that I fee like we get literally every other day.  You can go over to the Opt Out Prescreen website, and that puts you on the list for five years, alternatively you can ask to be mailed a form that will make the opt-out permanent.  


2. Purge. 
I try to go through clothes, toys, and household items at least a few times a year.  But, that is definitely easier said than done.  My goal is to do it with every season, but I get caught up.  If you can at least go through the house twice a year and get rid of things you or your family doesn't need, you'll already feel better.


3. Baskets and containers - a place for everything.
Look at a shoe rack, and then look at a basket of piled shoes.  Even though one is more organized than the other, be honest - which one looks better, and takes up less space?  I keep our shoes in baskets for the most part.  But, that doesn't stop my daughter from losing her flip flops nearly every day.  
Keeping items like shoes, toy cars, curling irons, and other similar miscellaneous items in baskets or containers, literally "contains" the clutter.   If everything has a place, then there is no excuse for it not to be put away.  If it doesn't have a place, maybe it doesn't belong in your home. 


4. Put things away often.  
This goes along with other simple things we can do frequently to reduce the feeling of a messy house.  Put things away when they are finished being used.  Wash the dishes after every meal, even if it's just a bowl of cereal.  Doing this will leave so much less work at the end of the night, and you'll be able to relax in a clean and organized (semi-organized at least) home.


5. Everything off the floor.  
This is my favorite, because it is also my pet peeve.   I cannot stand socks, and the remnants of a poorly disposed of wrapper, and paper pieces, etc.  all over the floor.  
So, do a mid-day, and nightly sweep.  95% of this problem comes from your children, so make them do it.  You're not only getting rid of clutter, your creating good habits for your kids.  And, eventually they won't leave it on the floor anymore.  


Hope those tips help you, now it's just a matter of sticking to it! :)

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    Hey, I'm Rachel.  I am a complicated girl like most.  I am a wife, a Jesus loving, music making, cake baking ex barista, DIY home decorator, crafter and stay-at-home mama.  I also read a lot. Follow me here as I divulge my not-so-secret recipes, mothering do's and don'ts, share my fav reads and movies and even have a listen to some of my youtube videos.
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